My friend, Paul, just called me while he was on a short vacation. It seems he has been lying on his couch, and he’s desperately trying to decide what to do about his relationship. I knew from the beginning they’d have a hard time of it because they are opposites, but I was comforted by knowing that opposites attract. Both of them are reasonable people, and I thought they’d have their relationship sorted out by now. Nothing could be further from the truth.
He told me how difficult every decision was for them, and he had plenty of examples. If he suggested eating Italian for dinner, she wanted Chinese. When he wanted to go skiing for their annual holiday, she wanted to go to a tropical resort. They discussed moving in together, but they couldn’t agree on that either. She wanted a modern apartment, and he wanted a cottage with a yard. He feels they’ll never be able to compromise enough, so I suggested he might break up with her.
When I suggested they break up, he became frantic. He claims she’s the love of his life, and he can’t stand to lose her. They’ve tried counseling, but even that was a fight. Neither of them liked the counselor the other chose, so they eventually stopped going. It was the only thing they could agree on. I pointed out that they had agreed on something, but he didn’t think it was funny.
Being in love is difficult, and there can be too many compromises. I told him that, and he agreed. Thinking he’d break up with her, I got off the phone to run errands. I just got a message from him that he is looking for an engagement ring, and he’ll be proposing this week. Not sure why he decided this, I called him. He said I was right about their agreement on counselors, and that showed him he could find a way to live with her for the rest of his life.